








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 583 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6527 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8611 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5778 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6996 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,916,033 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | 53% | 167 |
| #2 | PM | 53% | 214 |
| #3 | Skorpion ツ | 53% | 87 |
| #4 | NiftyJ | 52% | 324 |
| #5 | Jonah2804 | 52% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jonah2804 | 52% | 303 |
| #6 | Jucktmichnicht | 50% | 206 |
| #7 | kR1Z0 | 49% | 201 |
| #8 | IamDropZ | 49% | 172 |
| #9 | Rojo | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonah2804 | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | NiftyJ | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | PM | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jucktmichnicht | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | kR1Z0 | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonah2804 | 1632 | 0.25 | 49 min |
| #2 | PM | 830 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | NiftyJ | 682 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | kR1Z0 | 666 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #5 | Jucktmichnicht | 389 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiftyJ | +1.08 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Jonah2804 | +0.78 | 84 | 79 |
| #3 | PM | +0.63 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Jerry | +0.48 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | Skorpion ツ | +0.37 | 71 | 69 |





