








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 622 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1324 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1391 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1801 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,362 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubba | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Nach0 | 53% | 133 |
| #3 | shelovelloyd | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 49% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shelovelloyd | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 49% | 140 |
| #6 | J Lee | 48% | 178 |
| #7 | Fletch | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J Lee | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Nach0 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | shelovelloyd | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Nathan Leung | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J Lee | 255 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 215 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nach0 | 183 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 166 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | shelovelloyd | 127 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubba | +4.46 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Ch33t0IsMuted | +2.47 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Nach0 | +1.30 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | shelovelloyd | +0.64 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | J Lee | +0.39 | 42 | 49 |





