








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2424 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2244 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2888 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1275 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,385,053 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshua Laforge | 51% | 114 |
| #2 | Nach0 | 50% | 210 |
| #3 | J Lee | 47% | 219 |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 46% | 143 |
| #5 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 45% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nach0 | 50% | 210 |
| #3 | J Lee | 47% | 219 |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 46% | 143 |
| #5 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 45% | 212 |
| #6 | Fletch | 37% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J Lee | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Nach0 | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Joshua Laforge | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Fletch | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 356 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | J Lee | 284 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nach0 | 277 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 238 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Joshua Laforge | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ch33t0IsMuted | +1.78 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | shelovelloyd | +0.80 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Nach0 | +0.54 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | J Lee | +0.24 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | Nathan Leung | +0.21 | 58 | 56 |





