








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 84 | 6% |
| Smokes | 182 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 437 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 643 | 48% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,069 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshua Laforge | 46% | 69 |
| #2 | Nach0 | 44% | 103 |
| #3 | J Lee | 43% | 145 |
| #4 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 41% | 153 |
| #5 | Nathan Leung | 38% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nach0 | 44% | 103 |
| #3 | J Lee | 43% | 145 |
| #4 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 41% | 153 |
| #5 | Nathan Leung | 38% | 63 |
| #6 | shelovelloyd | 37% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shelovelloyd | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | J Lee | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Joshua Laforge | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Nach0 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ch33t0IsMuted | 258 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | J Lee | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | shelovelloyd | 153 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nach0 | 139 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nathan Leung | 118 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ch33t0IsMuted | +1.65 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Nach0 | +1.21 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | Nathan Leung | -0.04 | 54 | 51 |
| #4 | J Lee | -0.19 | 37 | 51 |
| #5 | shelovelloyd | -0.63 | 67 | 55 |





