








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 172 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2807 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3196 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3984 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3972 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,494,833 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubba | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | J Lee | 49% | 320 |
| #3 | Joshua Laforge | 49% | 140 |
| #4 | Nach0 | 48% | 330 |
| #5 | shelovelloyd | 45% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Joshua Laforge | 49% | 140 |
| #4 | Nach0 | 48% | 330 |
| #5 | shelovelloyd | 45% | 212 |
| #6 | Fletch | 41% | 153 |
| #7 | Nathan Leung | 41% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shelovelloyd | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | J Lee | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Nach0 | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Nathan Leung | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Fletch | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J Lee | 429 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Nach0 | 423 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Nathan Leung | 289 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | shelovelloyd | 232 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Joshua Laforge | 60 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubba | +3.00 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Ch33t0IsMuted | +1.71 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | Nach0 | +0.49 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | J Lee | +0.11 | 39 | 49 |
| #5 | shelovelloyd | -0.56 | 68 | 56 |





