








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 259 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2362 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1917 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,466 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | northern hog sucker | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | racc | 45% | 122 |
| #5 | im that wigga | 37% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Zanmang Loopy | 35% | 20 |
| #7 | Quentin2Quonky | 33% | 24 |
| #8 | 44444444444444444444444444444444 | 32% | 34 |
| #9 | i crippled | 29% | 85 |
| #10 | ♥BluDaBoi | 25% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 16 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | racc | 15 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | im that wigga | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | 44444444444444444444444444444444 | 6 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im that wigga | 408 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | racc | 159 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | 44444444444444444444444444444444 | 94 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Quentin2Quonky | 80 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | +6.86 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | Jasper | +5.48 | 52 | 36 |
| #3 | im that wigga | +3.23 | 35 | 47 |
| #4 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | +2.90 | 55 | 40 |
| #5 | northern hog sucker | +2.52 | 82 | 23 |





