








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1082 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 345 matches | ||
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5630 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3192 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4621 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2727 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,863,945 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1829 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | 62% | 294 |
| #2 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 62% | 304 |
| #3 | Jasper | 60% | 316 |
| #4 | Techno4k | 51% | 161 |
| #5 | BurritoKyle | 45% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jasper | 60% | 316 |
| #4 | Techno4k | 51% | 161 |
| #5 | BurritoKyle | 45% | 122 |
| #6 | Quentin2Quonky | 44% | 257 |
| #7 | i crippled | 38% | 304 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 49 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 30 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Quentin2Quonky | 28 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Zanmang Loopy | 25 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | BurritoKyle | 24 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quentin2Quonky | 721 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zanmang Loopy | 711 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 467 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jasper | 255 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | Techno4k | 81 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | +8.07 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Jasper | +5.44 | 63 | 40 |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | +3.13 | 61 | 36 |
| #4 | racc | -0.05 | 47 | 35 |
| #5 | Quentin2Quonky | -0.60 | 32 | 57 |





