








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1989 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1666 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1323 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,993 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | 67% | 69 |
| #2 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 62% | 73 |
| #3 | racc | 60% | 316 |
| #4 | Techno4k | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | BurritoKyle | 56% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BurritoKyle | 56% | 43 |
| #6 | Quentin2Quonky | 51% | 67 |
| #7 | horny honda mechanic | 50% | 38 |
| #8 | i crippled | 48% | 121 |
| #9 | MONSTER | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racc | 28 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | horny honda mechanic | 28 | 0.0388 |
| #3 | BurritoKyle | 9 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Zanmang Loopy | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racc | 330 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Quentin2Quonky | 211 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zanmang Loopy | 205 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Techno4k | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | +7.58 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Jasper | +5.04 | 61 | 41 |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | +1.80 | 55 | 33 |
| #4 | Quentin2Quonky | +0.76 | 39 | 57 |
| #5 | racc | -0.65 | 46 | 34 |





