








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3425 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3237 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2619 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,346 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐦 | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | TomasVeikko | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Norphe | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Musti | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | DATBOI | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Sergej | 45% | 31 |
| #13 | Sonni | 39% | 18 |
| #14 | turskanparahdus | 26% | 19 |
| #15 | Willtord (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) | 20% | 20 |
| #16 | ♥Nemu♥ | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crusifer | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | WilhelmTwister | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | DOGWATER | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | TomasVeikko | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | DATBOI | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crusifer | 164 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | WilhelmTwister | 158 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sergej | 120 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | DOGWATER | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | DATBOI | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WilhelmTwister | +3.13 | 69 | 67 |
| #2 | Crusifer | +1.96 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | rawdog69 | +1.89 | 50 | 65 |
| #4 | 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐦 | +1.40 | 50 | 30 |
| #5 | Sonni | +1.28 | 71 | 46 |





