








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 702 | 19% |
| Smokes | 985 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1042 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,747 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Ryökäle | 41% | 41 |
| #13 | WilhelmTwister | 36% | 28 |
| #14 | Norphe | 26% | 27 |
| #15 | DOGWATER | 21% | 29 |
| #16 | barraguda | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jUKEE | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Crusifer | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | TomasVeikko | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Hiki | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | DOGWATER | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jUKEE | 466 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Crusifer | 251 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hiki | 140 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | TomasVeikko | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sergej | 83 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rawdog69 | +3.82 | 49 | 66 |
| #2 | WilhelmTwister | +2.96 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Hiki | +1.56 | 61 | 80 |
| #4 | Crusifer | +1.36 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | TomasVeikko | +1.31 | 71 | 70 |





