








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4282 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3930 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3092 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4538 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,597,788 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy | 63% | 97 |
| #2 | mayo | 62% | 184 |
| #3 | Platinum | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | QuackForMe | 60% | 220 |
| #5 | DeWi | 59% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DeWi | 59% | 179 |
| #6 | T1T0M3 | 55% | 80 |
| #7 | Bush Wookie | 53% | 60 |
| #8 | Bungus | 53% | 77 |
| #9 | its_smeef | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackForMe | 35 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | mayo | 21 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | DeWi | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Bungus | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | T1T0M3 | 10 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackForMe | 686 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | DeWi | 371 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | mayo | 345 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | T1T0M3 | 253 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bush Wookie | 191 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | +3.10 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Bush Wookie | +1.39 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Tom2cornballz | +1.37 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | DeWi | +1.05 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | QuackForMe | +0.99 | 67 | 57 |





