








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3333 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2541 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3595 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,337,875 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 715 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nizmo | 79% | 33 |
| #2 | T1T0M3 | 64% | 86 |
| #3 | Crazy | 63% | 174 |
| #4 | Tom2cornballz | 62% | 184 |
| #5 | DeWi | 61% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bungus | 57% | 40 |
| #8 | Bush Wookie | 55% | 55 |
| #9 | GummyGobbler5 | 54% | 39 |
| #10 | ♿️////////////////////////// | 47% | 34 |
| #11 | its_smeef | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackForMe | 46 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | T1T0M3 | 27 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | DeWi | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Crazy | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Tom2cornballz | 10 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom2cornballz | 806 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | QuackForMe | 668 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | DeWi | 375 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Crazy | 215 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | T1T0M3 | 213 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | +4.02 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | nizmo | +1.85 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | ♿️////////////////////////// | +1.57 | 65 | 55 |
| #4 | Bush Wookie | +1.41 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | Tom2cornballz | +1.03 | 56 | 68 |





