








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5239 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4668 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3660 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4525 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,828,401 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeWi | 63% | 209 |
| #2 | Crazy | 62% | 130 |
| #3 | mayo | 61% | 270 |
| #4 | Tom2cornballz | 60% | 220 |
| #5 | T1T0M3 | 57% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | T1T0M3 | 57% | 293 |
| #6 | Bungus | 55% | 42 |
| #7 | Bush Wookie | 52% | 69 |
| #8 | its_smeef | 42% | 62 |
| #9 | Roland Groper | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T1T0M3 | 56 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | mayo | 49 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | DeWi | 23 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Tom2cornballz | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Roland Groper | 10 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom2cornballz | 1033 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | T1T0M3 | 825 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | DeWi | 435 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | mayo | 410 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | Bush Wookie | 234 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | +4.16 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | QuackForMe | +1.76 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | DeWi | +1.32 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | Bush Wookie | +0.84 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | Tom2cornballz | +0.81 | 55 | 68 |





