








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 19% |
| Smokes | 736 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1067 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1140 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,253 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | DeWi | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | mayo | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | QuackForMe | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | Tom2cornballz | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tom2cornballz | 53% | 77 |
| #6 | Bush Wookie | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | its_smeef | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | T1T0M3 | 49% | 35 |
| #9 | Platinum | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackForMe | 14 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | mayo | 10 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | T1T0M3 | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Tom2cornballz | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | DeWi | 4 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom2cornballz | 299 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | QuackForMe | 171 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | T1T0M3 | 150 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | mayo | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Crazy | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | +5.26 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | QuackForMe | +3.53 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Tom2cornballz | +2.96 | 57 | 72 |
| #4 | Bush Wookie | +2.28 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | DeWi | +0.45 | 64 | 67 |





