








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1077 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4431 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4341 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2292 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2601 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,579,230 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | 64% | 86 |
| #2 | DeWi | 62% | 117 |
| #3 | Roland Groper | 61% | 56 |
| #4 | QuackForMe | 57% | 293 |
| #5 | Larry Joe | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tom2cornballz | 55% | 80 |
| #8 | Crazy | 54% | 80 |
| #9 | Bush Wookie | 49% | 47 |
| #10 | Bungus | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | its_smeef | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackForMe | 56 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Roland Groper | 20 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | mayo | 17 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | DeWi | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Larry Joe | 12 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuackForMe | 887 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | Tom2cornballz | 338 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | DeWi | 230 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bush Wookie | 178 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Larry Joe | 148 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | +5.44 | 77 | 52 |
| #2 | Larry Joe | +2.73 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | QuackForMe | +2.20 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | DeWi | +1.98 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Tom2cornballz | +1.42 | 56 | 67 |





