








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 866 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1498 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1710 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,010 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeWi | 65% | 91 |
| #2 | Tom2cornballz | 63% | 97 |
| #3 | mayo | 63% | 174 |
| #4 | Bungus | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | QuackForMe | 62% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayo | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | QuackForMe | 17 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | T1T0M3 | 13 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | DeWi | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Roland Groper | 6 | 0.0157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom2cornballz | 490 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | QuackForMe | 309 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | mayo | 292 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | T1T0M3 | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | DeWi | 179 | 0.10 | 4 min |





