








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2111 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2844 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2592 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3133 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,210 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steadfast | 75% | 115 |
| #2 | spolts | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | LandonW | 73% | 41 |
| #4 | DanielH | 70% | 232 |
| #5 | Sithis | 69% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DanielH | 70% | 232 |
| #5 | Sithis | 69% | 214 |
| #6 | me when the | 69% | 74 |
| #7 | Penske | 67% | 90 |
| #8 | Fictionul | 62% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sithis | 24 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Steadfast | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | DanielH | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Fictionul | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | LandonW | 5 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanielH | 1237 | 0.26 | 37 min |
| #2 | Sithis | 750 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Steadfast | 724 | 0.31 | 20 min |
| #4 | Penske | 348 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Fictionul | 178 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lollypop | +2.97 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | DanielH | +2.41 | 64 | 80 |
| #3 | Steadfast | +1.74 | 82 | 76 |
| #4 | LandonW | +0.49 | 86 | 47 |
| #5 | me when the | +0.07 | 75 | 52 |





