








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3486 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2465 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2253 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2012 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,313 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LandonW | 81% | 27 |
| #2 | Lollypop | 75% | 115 |
| #3 | me when the | 73% | 66 |
| #4 | DanielH | 70% | 152 |
| #5 | pcookie2222 | 67% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TOBY | 59% | 51 |
| #10 | ninjagrunt | 54% | 41 |
| #11 | Fictionul | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | OgKnuckleNeck | 45% | 22 |
| #13 | Murderous | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sithis | 34 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Lollypop | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | DanielH | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | OgKnuckleNeck | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Penske | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sithis | 990 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #2 | DanielH | 789 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #3 | Lollypop | 355 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Penske | 260 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | TOBY | 159 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steadfast | +3.51 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | Lollypop | +2.21 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | DanielH | +2.00 | 61 | 80 |
| #4 | LandonW | +1.28 | 91 | 50 |
| #5 | me when the | +0.13 | 75 | 52 |





