








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2647 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1956 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1962 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,001,461 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SarkasM | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | boy | 70% | 27 |
| #3 | Derpmaster213 | 67% | 42 |
| #4 | Wango | 65% | 40 |
| #5 | Ciggie | 64% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Gone | 49% | 41 |
| #10 | Zayhan[S] -zz- | 45% | 20 |
| #11 | religion | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | soft🩷 | 44% | 25 |
| #13 | swifty | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derpmaster213 | 18 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | Ciggie | 17 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | Wango | 8 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | soft🩷 | 4 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 340 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ciggie | 194 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gone | 179 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | boy | 159 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #5 | Derpmaster213 | 125 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boy | +2.57 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Derpmaster213 | +1.98 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | CuteBoyThighs | +1.65 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Ball | +1.28 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | Ciggie | +1.26 | 92 | 55 |





