








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3563 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1541 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2365 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1202 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,886 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Lxvel | 66% | 100 |
| #2 | CuteBoyThighs | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | boy | 64% | 64 |
| #4 | Wango | 58% | 91 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | 56% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CuteBoyThighs | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | boy | 64% | 64 |
| #4 | Wango | 58% | 91 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | 56% | 121 |
| #6 | Derpmaster213 | 56% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derpmaster213 | 41 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | YODIELAND | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Papa Lxvel | 14 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Wango | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 7 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YODIELAND | 646 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #2 | Derpmaster213 | 404 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | boy | 391 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #4 | Papa Lxvel | 313 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Wango | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boy | +4.02 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | CuteBoyThighs | +3.38 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Ciggie | +3.12 | 91 | 58 |
| #4 | Derpmaster213 | +1.57 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | -0.63 | 29 | 63 |





