








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3109 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2999 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2123 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2451 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,290 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capra | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | HoWLS | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | CuteBoyThighs | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | ClutchLlama | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CuteBoyThighs | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | ClutchLlama | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | Zayhan[S] -zz- | 43% | 49 |
| #7 | Koh:) | 41% | 58 |
| #8 | soft🩷 | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soft🩷 | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | HoWLS | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Capra | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ClutchLlama | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 673 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | ClutchLlama | 108 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | Koh:) | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zayhan[S] -zz- | 75 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soft🩷 | +1.47 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | CuteBoyThighs | +1.46 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | Gone | +1.34 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | ClutchLlama | +1.04 | 77 | 75 |
| #5 | Capra | +0.20 | 83 | 51 |





