








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1654 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1753 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1597 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,940 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cigarette Enthusiast | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | CuteBoyThighs | 67% | 42 |
| #3 | Wango | 60% | 90 |
| #4 | boy | 57% | 103 |
| #5 | Ciggie | 56% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Wango | 60% | 90 |
| #4 | boy | 57% | 103 |
| #5 | Ciggie | 56% | 163 |
| #6 | AnaIGrip | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | YODIELAND | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ciggie | 39 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Wango | 14 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | CuteBoyThighs | 11 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | YODIELAND | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | boy | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ciggie | 678 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | boy | 604 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | YODIELAND | 353 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | Wango | 131 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 77 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CuteBoyThighs | +4.04 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | boy | +3.18 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Ciggie | +2.14 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | Derpmaster213 | +1.64 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | -1.36 | 33 | 62 |





