








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 412 | 30% |
| Smokes | 269 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 341 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 343 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,589 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CuteBoyThighs | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | Derpmaster213 | 60% | 90 |
| #3 | Ciggie | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | boy | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CuteBoyThighs | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | Derpmaster213 | 60% | 90 |
| #3 | Ciggie | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | boy | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derpmaster213 | 32 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | Ciggie | 29 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | CuteBoyThighs | 8 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | YODIELAND | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | boy | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ciggie | 388 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | boy | 293 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #3 | Derpmaster213 | 265 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | YODIELAND | 158 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CuteBoyThighs | +3.71 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Derpmaster213 | +3.16 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | boy | +2.36 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | Ciggie | +2.25 | 90 | 60 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | -0.45 | 31 | 66 |





