








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2690 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2008 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1055 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1982 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,544 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ooze | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | JaxX | 62% | 63 |
| #3 | papa^sZechuan | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | Snoozeh | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | quacker | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Gn4rly Nobody | 43% | 58 |
| #9 | knxwledge | 38% | 60 |
| #10 | Window Licker #pride | 37% | 75 |
| #11 | bombman | 29% | 14 |
| #12 | Rav32 | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaxX | 362 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | knxwledge | 268 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Window Licker #pride | 221 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | papa^sZechuan | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gn4rly Nobody | 134 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa^sZechuan | +1.75 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Snoozeh | +1.67 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | JaxX | +1.55 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | ooze | +0.57 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | Gn4rly Nobody | +0.25 | 58 | 57 |





