








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3925 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3672 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2443 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1799 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,531,987 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㅿ | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | Rav32 | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | Metro | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | Gulf | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Gn4rly Nobody | 50% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gn4rly Nobody | 50% | 165 |
| #6 | Joeshmoe | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | Window Licker #pride | 48% | 267 |
| #8 | bombman | 43% | 37 |
| #9 | johnny | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Window Licker #pride | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Gn4rly Nobody | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Rav32 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Metro | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | johnny | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Window Licker #pride | 813 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | Gulf | 366 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #3 | Gn4rly Nobody | 339 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rav32 | 307 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Metro | 231 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metro | +1.75 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Rav32 | +1.75 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | Gulf | +0.99 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | Gn4rly Nobody | +0.56 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | Window Licker #pride | +0.31 | 69 | 60 |





