








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2587 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3559 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2340 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3284 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,334 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeno | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | Superious | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | Gulf | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Metro | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Gn4rly Nobody | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BigDaddyLion | 50% | 70 |
| #9 | knxwledge | 49% | 53 |
| #10 | knz | 49% | 76 |
| #11 | Window Licker #pride | 49% | 72 |
| #12 | :D Book | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Window Licker #pride | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | knz | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Superious | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ElectricSweetPotato | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | :D Book | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElectricSweetPotato | 650 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | knz | 398 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | BigDaddyLion | 346 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Window Licker #pride | 211 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | knxwledge | 194 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superious | +1.85 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Gulf | +1.16 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | knz | +0.85 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Joeshmoe | +0.66 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Window Licker #pride | +0.62 | 69 | 57 |





