








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2155 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3565 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2147 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2807 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,439 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | 22 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | smy | 15 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | MorDi | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | TurboDiesel | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | DramaLama | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorDi | 432 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | HeInIkel | 181 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | smy | 135 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | DramaLama | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Olav | 99 | 0.09 | 2 min |





