








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8816 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4457 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3195 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 7629 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,596,477 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 38 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | TurboDiesel | 29 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | krazy | 25 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | YouLikeCookies | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | MorDi | 13 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 1979 | 0.20 | 48 min |
| #2 | MorDi | 1857 | 0.13 | 38 min |
| #3 | big pappa | 687 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | krazy | 544 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | NorahBorah | 381 | 0.04 | 7 min |





