








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3280 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4593 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2624 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1312 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,255,899 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Don Juan | 51% | 102 |
| #8 | Olav | 50% | 46 |
| #9 | Mofasa | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | DramaLama | 41% | 298 |
| #11 | Tonny | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smy | 73 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | Don Juan | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | DramaLama | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | MorDi | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Fenix | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smy | 618 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | DramaLama | 289 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | MorDi | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Don Juan | 126 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Olav | 96 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | +4.74 | 69 | 44 |
| #2 | Mofasa | +1.78 | 61 | 45 |
| #3 | Olav | +1.60 | 53 | 55 |
| #4 | smy | +1.35 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Don Juan | +1.24 | 46 | 54 |





