








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2564 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3732 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3761 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5364 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,178,312 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 61% | 180 |
| #2 | TurboDiesel | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | big pappa | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | Kank Doppie-jænpièrre⛴⛟ | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | Useless | 48% | 546 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboDiesel | 29 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 23 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Hoddse | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | YouLikeCookies | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Useless | 7 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Useless | 1116 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #2 | MorDi | 1015 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | Hoddse | 797 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #4 | big pappa | 396 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 329 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | +6.02 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | big pappa | +3.45 | 49 | 59 |
| #3 | TurboDiesel | +3.33 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | Useless | +2.89 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | +2.57 | 49 | 52 |





