








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6533 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5565 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6201 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4078 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,876 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴉnɓ | 55% | 74 |
| #2 | Zem | 51% | 484 |
| #3 | Cyans | 51% | 104 |
| #4 | OldMateRocky | 51% | 77 |
| #5 | ArmD. | 50% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldMateRocky | 19 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Blue123 | 17 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Zem | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ArmD. | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Ned279 | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue123 | 487 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | ArmD. | 407 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Cyans | 398 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Zem | 346 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #5 | ᴉnɓ | 307 | 0.21 | 7 min |





