








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 393 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10478 | 41% |
| Smokes | 6044 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3601 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5690 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,860 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1070 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zemonics | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | ComeNgetMe | 55% | 74 |
| #3 | aRrmD | 51% | 185 |
| #4 | Gherkin™ | 47% | 138 |
| #5 | Cy-. | 46% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cy-. | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Gherkin™ | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | aRrmD | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ComeNgetMe | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Pookie Wookie | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aRrmD | 418 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cy-. | 336 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Cyans | 300 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | ComeNgetMe | 222 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pookie Wookie | 181 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ComeNgetMe | +2.75 | 66 | 52 |
| #2 | aRrmD | +2.49 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | Cougar Hunter | +1.68 | 47 | 66 |
| #4 | Cyans | +1.37 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Pookie Wookie | +0.96 | 38 | 20 |





