








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6935 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4866 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2026 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 5436 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,813 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigPussy Mcgillicutti | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Titanβ’ | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | Zem | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | Florijandro | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | ArmD. | 50% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Florijandro | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | ArmD. | 50% | 162 |
| #6 | gui | 48% | 42 |
| #7 | H | 45% | 203 |
| #8 | α΄nΙ | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titanβ’ | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | H | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ArmD. | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Florijandro | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BigPussy Mcgillicutti | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmD. | 335 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | α΄nΙ | 322 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Titanβ’ | 301 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | H | 222 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | gui | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigPussy Mcgillicutti | +5.38 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | Cyans | +2.49 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Florijandro | +1.79 | 82 | 38 |
| #4 | gui | +1.51 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Titanβ’ | +1.25 | 69 | 56 |





