








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2820 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3587 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2457 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2428 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,760 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chear-iwnl | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Tobi5826 | 61% | 87 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 57% | 223 |
| #4 | BLÅHAJ | 56% | 138 |
| #5 | StevieOk | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BLÅHAJ | 56% | 138 |
| #5 | StevieOk | 54% | 35 |
| #6 | Fcking Johannes | 53% | 190 |
| #7 | Flick N lick dude | 48% | 67 |
| #8 | Ravenking | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fcking Johannes | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Tobi5826 | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Flick N lick dude | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | BLÅHAJ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 773 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Tobi5826 | 289 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fcking Johannes | 210 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ravenking | 181 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | BLÅHAJ | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.50 | 78 | 77 |
| #2 | Tobi5826 | +1.98 | 72 | 44 |
| #3 | OG Jakobus | +1.60 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Fcking Johannes | +1.01 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | Chear-iwnl | -0.48 | 59 | 78 |





