








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 990 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1261 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1227 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,334 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Trippi troppi troppa trippa | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | OG Jakobus | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | BLÅHAJ | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Fcking Johannes | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OG Jakobus | 193 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 110 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ravenking | 59 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fcking Johannes | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trippi troppi troppa trippa | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trippi troppi troppa trippa | +4.04 | 79 | 82 |
| #2 | OG Jakobus | +2.82 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.88 | 80 | 79 |
| #4 | Fcking Johannes | +0.93 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Flick N lick dude | -0.09 | 68 | 52 |





