








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4724 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6108 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4286 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5211 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,531 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | StevieOk | 58% | 86 |
| #6 | Fcking Johannes | 58% | 258 |
| #7 | OG Jakobus | 57% | 223 |
| #8 | Ravenking | 56% | 82 |
| #9 | Flick N lick dude | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fcking Johannes | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | OG Jakobus | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Tobi5826 | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | BLÅHAJ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | StevieOk | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OG Jakobus | 739 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Tobi5826 | 424 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fcking Johannes | 338 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | BLÅHAJ | 271 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | StevieOk | 249 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.04 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | Fcking Johannes | +1.51 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | Tobi5826 | +1.45 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | OG Jakobus | +1.42 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | Chear-iwnl | -0.38 | 63 | 77 |





