








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1517 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1915 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1259 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,006 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nate | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | spak | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | The Savior | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Doltrax | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Nuaj | 62% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 19 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | mushle | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Nuaj | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | spak | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Baby Yoda | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Baby Yoda | 94 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nuaj | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | jotherc-iwnl- | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | spak | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | +3.76 | 90 | 44 |
| #2 | nate | +3.27 | 79 | 44 |
| #3 | Nuaj | +3.24 | 87 | 53 |
| #4 | The Savior | +2.30 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | spak | +1.88 | 83 | 61 |





