








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4853 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5223 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4557 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $806,306 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 57% | 91 |
| #2 | Pupuce | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | HOOK | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Spado | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 47% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Spado | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 47% | 100 |
| #6 | eliottts16 | 47% | 178 |
| #7 | Abé Turk | 45% | 100 |
| #8 | kenaÏ_7 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abé Turk | 43 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 24 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | eliottts16 | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Spado | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eliottts16 | 451 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Abé Turk | 287 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 104 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pupuce | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | +5.03 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | +2.12 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Pupuce | +1.62 | 63 | 39 |
| #4 | kenaÏ_7 | -0.35 | 36 | 50 |
| #5 | Spado | -1.16 | 42 | 37 |





