








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 641 | 30% |
| Smokes | 574 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 472 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,089 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spado | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Abé Turk | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | eliottts16 | 36% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Abé Turk | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | eliottts16 | 36% | 69 |
| #6 | kenaÏ_7 | 34% | 29 |
| #7 | HOOK | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abé Turk | 27 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | 13 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | eliottts16 | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 9 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | kenaÏ_7 | 5 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reMISTERIEU | 195 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | eliottts16 | 174 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Abé Turk | 123 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | kenaÏ_7 | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | +6.40 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | +3.92 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | Abé Turk | -0.09 | 60 | 47 |
| #4 | kenaÏ_7 | -0.49 | 28 | 46 |
| #5 | Spado | -1.37 | 30 | 38 |





