








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5192 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4091 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6967 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,778 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reMISTERIEU | 47% | 178 |
| #2 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 46% | 184 |
| #3 | Spado | 41% | 93 |
| #4 | Abé Turk | 41% | 182 |
| #5 | HOOK | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Abé Turk | 41% | 182 |
| #5 | HOOK | 40% | 47 |
| #6 | Pupuce | 39% | 46 |
| #7 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 36% | 69 |
| #8 | kenaÏ_7 | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abé Turk | 62 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | 30 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 17 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Spado | 12 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abé Turk | 475 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | 473 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 302 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Pupuce | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | +5.34 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | reMISTERIEU | +1.35 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Pupuce | +1.10 | 68 | 39 |
| #4 | kenaÏ_7 | -0.27 | 43 | 49 |
| #5 | Abé Turk | -0.99 | 56 | 46 |





