








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3727 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2890 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1643 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,514 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigzero | 61% | 75 |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Soul_Lives | 57% | 98 |
| #4 | Whoosh whoosh | 57% | 79 |
| #5 | TR3Y | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigzero | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Soul_Lives | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Alden | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | shrooney | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Whoosh whoosh | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrooney | 530 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | Alden | 526 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Soul_Lives | 331 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Whoosh whoosh | 293 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | bigzero | 192 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | +2.55 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | +2.39 | 82 | 84 |
| #3 | shrooney | +1.93 | 88 | 74 |
| #4 | bigzero | +1.71 | 94 | 61 |
| #5 | Jake | +1.13 | 68 | 41 |





