








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1489 | 48% |
| Smokes | 623 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 284 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 676 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,931 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 839 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 53% | 188 |
| #2 | ☁ PotaTom | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | smk | 47% | 132 |
| #4 | Dinguh | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | mutant | 45% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | smk | 47% | 132 |
| #4 | Dinguh | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | mutant | 45% | 139 |
| #6 | chester | 44% | 140 |
| #7 | glasses | 41% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 58 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | chester | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ☁ PotaTom | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | mutant | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | glasses | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 573 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | mutant | 523 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | chester | 388 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | smk | 340 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Dinguh | 189 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | +4.22 | 88 | 49 |
| #2 | ☁ PotaTom | -0.24 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | mutant | -0.48 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | chester | -0.54 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | old man Jenkins | -0.81 | 83 | 27 |





