








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 348 | 29% |
| Smokes | 313 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 226 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 298 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,284 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gare | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Dinguh | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | chester | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | old man Jenkins | 41% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gare | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Dinguh | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | chester | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | old man Jenkins | 41% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | old man Jenkins | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | chester | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Gare | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Dinguh | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chester | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | old man Jenkins | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dinguh | 23 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gare | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gare | +1.60 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | Dinguh | +1.36 | 56 | 57 |
| #3 | chester | +1.30 | 51 | 44 |
| #4 | old man Jenkins | -0.29 | 84 | 15 |
| #5 | glasses | -2.48 | 59 | 45 |





