








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2807 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3304 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1176 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2149 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,172,155 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whalevalanche | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | kixetic | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | RocKin | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | redavnI www.ream.team | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | ☁ PotaTom | 51% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jet | 48% | 120 |
| #7 | smk | 47% | 91 |
| #8 | chester | 46% | 100 |
| #9 | old man Jenkins | 45% | 139 |
| #10 | Chasing Turtles | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 19 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | old man Jenkins | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | chester | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ☁ PotaTom | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | smk | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chester | 327 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | RocKin | 314 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jet | 307 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | smk | 215 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | old man Jenkins | 156 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | +4.37 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Whalevalanche | +1.42 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | kixetic | +0.96 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | RocKin | +0.90 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | ☁ PotaTom | -0.45 | 71 | 58 |





