








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3090 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4016 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3072 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3960 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,774,336 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 931 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirdy Strangey | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Saloushe | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | mutant | 47% | 91 |
| #4 | Jet | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | old man Jenkins | 47% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | old man Jenkins | 47% | 132 |
| #6 | THE JONKLER | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | ☁ PotaTom | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | 877-CASH-NOW | 39% | 23 |
| #9 | sugarfreeredbull | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | old man Jenkins | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Jet | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | THE JONKLER | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | 877-CASH-NOW | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | mutant | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mutant | 331 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | old man Jenkins | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Saloushe | 130 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jet | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | sugarfreeredbull | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | +4.66 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | Saloushe | +3.39 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Weirdy Strangey | +0.84 | 53 | 30 |
| #4 | ☁ PotaTom | +0.69 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | mutant | +0.43 | 57 | 57 |





