








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1756 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,003 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 50% | 147 |
| #3 | Ld | 45% | 38 |
| #4 | Asrii | 44% | 151 |
| #5 | VorLo | 42% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ld | 45% | 38 |
| #4 | Asrii | 44% | 151 |
| #5 | VorLo | 42% | 109 |
| #6 | Law | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asrii | 66 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | VorLo | 27 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 20 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Law | 5 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 4 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VorLo | 666 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | Asrii | 486 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 444 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Ld | 221 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #5 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | +2.96 | 75 | 29 |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | +1.38 | 62 | 69 |
| #3 | VorLo | +1.20 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Asrii | +0.98 | 68 | 44 |
| #5 | HelheimWanderer | -0.72 | 54 | 46 |





