








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




171 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3562 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3661 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4388 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3093 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,064,051 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ld | 55% | 64 |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 52% | 339 |
| #3 | VorLo | 49% | 362 |
| #4 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | HelheimWanderer | 44% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 52% | 339 |
| #3 | VorLo | 49% | 362 |
| #4 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | HelheimWanderer | 44% | 151 |
| #6 | ♡ | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VorLo | 107 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 54 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | HelheimWanderer | 39 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 32 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | Ld | 8 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VorLo | 1972 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 1257 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #3 | HelheimWanderer | 554 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ld | 338 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #5 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 258 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VorLo | +1.79 | 68 | 57 |
| #2 | Asrii | +1.17 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | SadPeepoJuicebox | +0.61 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | ♡ | +0.02 | 74 | 25 |
| #5 | Ld | -0.31 | 33 | 65 |





