








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




161 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8959 | 46% |
| Smokes | 4480 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 4515 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,280,736 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 51% | 252 |
| #2 | Asrii | 49% | 362 |
| #3 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 47% | 224 |
| #4 | HelheimWanderer | 42% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 51% | 252 |
| #2 | Asrii | 49% | 362 |
| #3 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 47% | 224 |
| #4 | HelheimWanderer | 42% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asrii | 109 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 54 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 33 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | HelheimWanderer | 14 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asrii | 1069 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 1030 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #3 | HelheimWanderer | 414 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | LaxerFart enjoyer | 403 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VorLo | +2.11 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Asrii | +0.80 | 64 | 46 |
| #3 | SadPeepoJuicebox | +0.49 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | HelheimWanderer | -1.12 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | LaxerFart enjoyer | -2.16 | 75 | 42 |





