








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5852 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3598 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1956 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2634 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,698 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Winnie | 47% | 73 |
| #9 | Cuba | 45% | 62 |
| #10 | Beefy | 45% | 20 |
| #11 | Popcorn_ie | 33% | 15 |
| #12 | Flexo | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amac | 39 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | SaltyDawg | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | eskay | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Cuba | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltyDawg | 403 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Amac | 398 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Winnie | 289 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Johnathan Sins | 264 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cuba | 178 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | +2.50 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Gonk | +1.60 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | Lagahan | +1.13 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | Johnathan Sins | +0.78 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | Amac | +0.37 | 58 | 56 |





