








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2143 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2622 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2177 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2927 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,806 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonk | 58% | 86 |
| #2 | Winnie | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 54% | 147 |
| #4 | eskay | 53% | 86 |
| #5 | Popcorn_ie | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amac | 29 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | SaltyDawg | 18 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Matt | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Cuba | 9 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltyDawg | 445 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Matt | 441 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 411 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Cuba | 278 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Gonk | 269 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | +2.02 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Lagahan | +1.54 | 78 | 52 |
| #3 | Gonk | +1.22 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | Amac | +0.88 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Johnathan Sins | +0.84 | 62 | 66 |





